Los Cuetes, The Firecrackers

One thing you can count on in Guatemala is a continuous supply of noise. Dirt bikes and motorcycles are popular forms of transportation, chickens and turkeys and stray dogs loiter in my back yard, and firecrackers explode literally every half hour, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. These are not like firecrackers in the US. No, these things are like little artillery shells that go “bang bang bang” one after another for like ten seconds. You can hear them half-way across the city. The firecrackers are used in celebration of any occasion, from birthdays to Father’s Day to weddings to Holy days. People put them in the street or on the sidewalks and light them. There is no cheering or gawking, just listening. Yep, there they go again in the distance. And again. I swear I am not making this up. It sounds like a war zone.

I was sitting in a local café with my Spanish teacher Tania and another Spanish teacher named Jessica. It was Friday, so we decided to take the second half of the day a little easier and enjoy conversation over a cup of chocolate con leche. We crossed through el Parque Central (Central Park) to arrive at a little café popular to many locals.

I don’t entirely remember how the conversation began, but somehow Jessica and I got on the topic of premonitions and premonitory dreams. She told us about a dream she had a couple of years back, and how after she had it the events unfolded in real life exactly as she had seen them in her dream. I didn’t really know what to say so I told her about this UFO show I watched once and how it chronicled like three Latino families that claimed to have seen UFOs around their homes. I’m not sure how, but in my mind this somehow connected the cultural construct of superstition or something. She joked about how her family called her a witch because of her psychic powers. I told her that I was really enjoying the conversation because I was reading Harry Potter in Spanish knew how to say witch and sorcerer and other related words. I really contributed a lot to this conversation.

Around this point, I saw two things out of the corner of my right eye. The first was a woman outside the window of the café with a long, red, rectangular object about half a centimeter thick and probably five centimeters wide. Firecrackers. The other was the man seated to my right, who I had seen scoffing and laughing silently to himself a few moments earlier. Now, he was in a clear position of prayer, with his hands together and upper body bent over his empty table. Curious.

As we segued into a new topic, the man got up from his table and came to our table, apologizing for interrupting. Guatemalans are very polite people. He addressed Jessica and said, “Pardon me, but I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation earlier. Here is my card. If you would ever be interested in talking please give me a call.” Turns out, the man was not only an Engineer, but also a spiritual healer, an energist (does he know Danielle?). Weird combination. Anyways, for some reason I thought this was really funny so I made a joke about him throwing Holy water on her and chanting “the power of Christ compels you.” Turns out The Exorcist is not as popular down here as it is in the States.

There seemed to be a bit of commotion on the street. People noticed the firecrackers on the ground. It appeared they had not lit. It was a rainy day, so they must have been duds.

Not.

Right away the things went off in a cloud of smoke, light, and unfathomable noise. I jumped out of my chair and nearly fell on the ground. The entire restaurant, including the teachers and employees, erupted in laughter. Too bad there couldn’t have been a premonition about this one. No, these things are not like the American toys. Firecrackers fill an entire square with smoke and leave a ringing noise in your ears for minutes after. Firecrackers can blow off your extremities. Firecrackers simultaneously create joy and terror.

I hear them again in the distance from my bedroom, probably about 5 times in the last 15 minutes. Happy Birthday, amigos.