A Guatemalan Date Function?

Every Friday Celas Maya hosts a “graduation” for the students who will be leaving the school that week. There is usually some sort of fiesta, the teachers hand out diplomas, and the students chat and can give a presentation showcasing their recently acquired Spanish skills.

I wake up to the crowing of the rooster outside my window at 4am, 5am, 6am and finally 7am to go to Spanish class from 8am to 1pm every weekday. 8am classes are surprisingly bearable when you’re not in college. During our 30-minute recess at 10:30 on Mondays, a member of the staff announces the weekly activities. Spanish school is like an all-inclusive resort, or I guess you could say summer camp. This week, the offerings included a visit to a sulfur spring, a hike up a rocky mountain, and lessons in Quiche, the local Mayan language (there are 23 dialects of indigenous Mayan languages in Guatemala- wow!). Wednesday night was a salsa lesson at La Parranda, the local hot spot. And finally, of course, there was the Friday graduation fiesta.

I am going to describe this week’s graduation theme exactly as the staff member explained it to my fellow Celas Maya students and me Monday morning. I will provide parenthetical interpretations of his spoken words. You tell me what it sounds like.

“This Friday is graduation (party)! We are having a theme (themed party) this week. There will be a prize for the best-dressed person (Golf on Grounds?). We encourage you to go to the store across the street where they sell cheap used clothing (Goodwill) and stock up on some costume items (toga/tie-die/golf pros/tennis hos). We will provide light snacks (sorority on a budget/social probation), but feel free to bring wine to share (BYOB). Should be a lot of fun!”

If you thought this sounds like an organized event where a guy and a girl get dressed up and go a few blocks off campus to pretend like they haven’t seen their best friends in months, ¡Tienes razón, it’s a Date Function!

When I graduated, I accepted that the next date function I would attend would be a wedding. In fact, I came to think of a wedding as a giant “wed-func” where my friends converge from all corners of the world and dance and carry on instead of witnessing the sacred matrimony and throwing rice at the newlywed couple. Perhaps this notion will fade in time, but I am holding on to it because I just graduated like 3 weeks ago.

I walked to the graduation with my home stay hermano Zach. He is from Philadelphia, and has apparently been coming to Guatemala and Central America on and off for the last 3 years. He is my height and his hair is a few tints blonder than mine. As such, we are quite the spectacle when walking down the street to Celas Maya. We briskly passed through the ill-lit alley of transvestites and safely arrived. After a couple hours of salsa dancing and loud music, it was time to vamonos. To more “salsa” dancing and loud music.

Denny, Ashley, Jenny (all from UVA), my Australian mate Oliver, this rando girl whose name I can’t remember, and I went to King and Queen, home of (allegedly) the best Mojito in Xela. It was crawling with gringos, probably because it’s listed in Lonely Planet or something. We quickly bounced to Pool and Beer.

Being two feet taller than everyone around you has certain implications. You can see everyone surrounding you in a crowd, which is generally helpful for safety and vigilance. Also, everyone around you can see you, which means that when you go to a place like Pool and Beer, it’s not easy to be anonymous. So I danced a few salsa steps and pretended like I had to make a phone call, which I actually did because I wanted to get home for tequila night, plus Oliver had ordered a pizza. According to UVA terms, when pizza is ordered (Christian’s), it’s usually time to go home.

I called Carlos the Cabbie, who is becoming a fast friend, to drive me home. He drives this junky little white taxi a little bigger than a breadbox, and we bounced up and down the cobblestone streets back to the Casa Lopez. I wanted to make it home at a reasonable hour because this was a night of fiesta at my home stay. My host family enjoys tequila, and Zach is leaving this weekend so they wanted to celebrate. I got home a bit late, but my host madre was still up chatting with her friend at the dining table. I joined for a bit and talked about her ex-marido over a table covered with limes, tequila, and margarita mix. It was very Real Housewives of Xela.

Bedtime came at a reasonable hour. Who knew you get so tired when you maintain a normal weekly schedule.

And there concludes a night out in Xela, Guatemala. Feel free to come join.